Jonothon Song: Dreams of Time
by Ciardha
Summary: Jonothon Song knew when he was going to die from the time he was a little boy. Rather than try to deny it or sink into a life long melancholy, he chose to embrace knowledge and compassion as his life path. River Song and the Doctor's oldest child, this is his run.


Jonothon Song: Dreams of Time

Chapter 1

Gallifrey, during the era of the Third Doctor

Jonothon Song gathered his family together, awaiting his mother's return from Karn. Two of his three children, five of his grandchildren and their two living spouses, and the four great grandchildren would soon be on a one way trip to 1976 New York, as their sanctuary from the time war. His mother, his wife, and he would return to Gallifrey, but the others would stay. Mother had sent an encoded message to her parents and received an enthusiastic yes to the "visit". Carefully phrased as such, just in case it was intercepted. Jonothon knew he would return knew he was to die during the time war. His youngest daughter, her full time lord husband, their descendants, would as well.

The burden of being a three quarters time lord, Jonothon had seen what some would call his "fate" quite young. Or perhaps it was just his special burden, since none of his siblings ever spoke of seeing more than vague shadows of their future selves as children. Even his father, the legendary Doctor, had only once seen terrifying glimpses as a child- the moment he looked into the untempered schism during the Academy entrance ritual. As for his mother, she spoke occasionally of the programed destiny forced upon her by the Silence as a child, and her attempts to break it throughout her childhood. But like Jonothon, she did sometimes have dreams of her future, but never as vivid as his. He hadn't told his mother of those dreams until he was an adult. During the trip back to ancient Gallifrey, while father was preoccupied with keeping a close eye on the overrides to get to Gallifrey before the foundation of the time lord society, Jonothon took his mother aside.

"Best not stay away long, your father, even this face that's less flighty than most, will still do idiotic 'corrections' to the Tardis."

Jonothon nodded.

"I suppose it's very serious though, since you don't want your father to know."

"Yeah. Mum, remember when I told you about those dreams I've had about things that end up happening?"

"Yes, you have them awake sometimes too, right?"

"Yeah. There was one… I've had it several times. I know when I'm going to die."

She closed her eyes, clenched her hands on the table and took several deep breaths.

"Mum?"

"It's fixed right, you don't sense any flux around it?"

"No flux in time. It's fixed." His voice was soft and gentle and he embraced his mother.

"Oh my sweet little boy, how long have you known?"

"Since around the time Amelia was born."

"So young. I didn't have my first about a possible time of death until shortly after I married your father. Thankfully, it was in flux and I averted it. It's only recently that I had one about my real one, it's fixed, but it's long from now."

"When?"

"Spoilers." She smiled enigmatically. "Don't tell me yours, either. I have an idea, but I'd rather not have it confirmed. Maybe I want to run from knowing my loved ones ending as much as your father does."

Jonothon nodded, and they walked back to the console room.

As he grew up, he saw his parents struggle with certain legends of themselves becoming fixed points in time. He learned quite young, that often, time could not be rewritten. It had made him quiet and thoughtful. Rather than pointlessly rebelling or sinking into an unending melancholy, he chose to embrace any knowledge with a quiet enthusiasm. His time was finite, he would value every moment.

Jonothon's mother often told him how she saw her own father in him. After he met his grandfather and instantly feeling a bond, he understood. They had stayed less than a week, but the memory was sharp, even so many years later. One afternoon in particular stood out; when Jonothon told his grandfather he knew when he was going to die. On that day the two of them had walked down to the stream in the little woods.

"We sometimes played at a spot like this in Leadworth, your mum- when she was Mels, your grandmother and I, when we were kids."

"What was mum like then?"

"Troubled. Amy and I didn't know why back then, we were all just kids. She tried to be like us, but there was something that was bothering her, made her want to get in trouble… Has she told you anything about that?"

"A little. She gets so sad when she does though."

"Hurts you here, right?" Rory pointed to his heart

"Yeah."

"Time lord kids aren't so different from human kids, sounds like."

"That's what mum says too. Mum said she was sad and angry because of the bad stuff about her future she already knew."

"Figured as much. It's kind of painful knowing bad things ahead of time, even as a grown up. Like I know what year I'll die."

Jonothon gasped, mum had told him about the Weeping Angels, but not about his grandfather knowing when he would die. Then softly he replied "Grandfather, I haven't told mum, but I know when I'm going to die."

"So that's what it was...your mum's right, you are a lot like me. I could tell something was troubling you. It's a long time from now I hope…"

"Yeah. I'm real old, even though I don't look old."

"That's your time lord part. Your mum doesn't see this happen, I hope."

"No, and not the dad I know either, he doesn't directly see me die, either."

"Different regeneration then?"

Jonothon nodded.

"Still, it'll probably be hard for him. Have you told him?"

"No."

"I wouldn't, your mum said he can't bear to know that kind of thing."

Jonothon nodded, somehow he knew that. "But what about Mum?"

"I know your mother; it would probably hurt her more if she knew. If you tell her wait till closer to its time. Definitely not now, something's bothering her a lot."

"Yeah, it's something about some place called Trenzalore. Something bad happens to Dad there, not dying, something else, they're both afraid about it."

"A regeneration I think, I remember hearing something about 'fall of the 11th'. Your dad has a rough time with regenerations, from what I and your grandmother saw. I saw your mum regenerate once, it didn't look to be as difficult for her, hope you're more like her."

"Yeah, me too." Jonothon replied, but he knew it was something worse than that. Mum had talked to him once, shortly before they took this trip with dad. Amelia was already asleep, and this was their usual time together before bedtime. Tonight though, instead of watching a movie or playing a game she'd sat him in her lap and cuddled him.

"Jonothon, you're old enough to understand now. I'm going to tell you something true about your father that might scare you."

"Something bad?"

"Yes. It's not really his fault though. He didn't really understand what he did would cause this. I'm telling you this so you don't make the same mistake. "

"Will you tell Amelia too?"

"Yes. I wish I could wait until she was your age, but I think this bad thing will happen before then. I'm going to wait a while longer to tell her though."

"Could I?"

River looked at her son and considered, then she nodded. "Maybe you could say it in a less scary way. If she gets too upset though, tell me, and I'll finish telling her."

"What bad thing did daddy do?"

River mused, there were many bad things their father had done, and they might come out at Trenzalore… She debated on telling him about some of those other things too, but decided it would be too much for now. Best just to say the one thing she felt she must, before Trenzalore. "You know how sometime you get really angry and wish bad things would happen to the person that made you angry, then you feel ashamed later?"

Jonothon nodded.

"Well, your father felt so ashamed of that part of himself, he locked that part away, and then other parts he thought that were bad too. Because he did it so long, and because he's a full time lord, it became a separate self inside him, becoming stronger the longer it existed. It's very strong now, and at Trenzalore it will break free when your daddy can't finish regenerating. There will be two half versions of your daddy. The part that is all his feelings he hid away will do lots of bad things, before we can save your daddy."

"Will you save daddy, mum?"

"I'll try, but it will probably take lots of people to save him."

"I want to help save daddy."

"I'm sure you'll help a lot. But Jonothon, promise me you won't lock that part of yourself away, even though it makes you feel ashamed. Don't do what I did either and believe you were just someone bad with no chance of being good, even though you really wanted to be good."

"Mummy, you're the best person I know!" He hugged her tightly.

River chuckled. "Thank you, my sweet little boy." She kissed the top of his head then softly said "Face the darkness within and accept it, but don't let it become all that you see of yourself. You are neither saint nor monster, you are you."

That was the first time she said that, but it became the one the words of advice she passed along to all her children. They all strived to follow that one in particular, no one wanted a repeat of Trenzlaore.

Trenzalore was the most frightening experience of his childhood- seeing what his mother warned him of, played out right in front of him. Even knowing how he would die frightened him less. The only thing that hurt as much was his wife's insistence on sharing that fate with him… He wished she hadn't embraced the family motto on marriage so completely: "together or not at all". She may have not been born a Pond or a Song, but Yuki Ikemura had thoroughly embraced being one by marriage.

But then again, Yuki's family name meant "Pond Village"…. He remembered how his father laughed at the wonderful irony of that...

"More Ponds! Yes, welcome to our family Yuki Pond!" He grinned, and winked at River, knowing she'd recognize his channeling of his 11th self.

"But aren't you Songs?"

River smiled, "My mother's family name was Pond. I was born Melody Pond. I chose the name River Song as an adult. I've been called River Song far longer than I was called Melody Pond. My husband knew me for years as River Song. My parents were very close friends of my husband. When we married the first time he used both my names, so we are both Songs and Ponds. Song is our official family name, but my husband and I also consider ourselves Ponds."

"And now Jonothon can be both a Song and Pond, officially!" The Doctor grinned.

That was back during the time his father had assumed the mantle of the mysterious- even to Gallifreyan timelords, Other. Before the great sacrifice that returned him to the beginning of his life cycle.

Yuki was half time lord. Her mother Naomi was a human woman from 1970's America, abducted near the end of the Pythia tyranny. Naomi Ikemura was rescued from the Death Zone by a team of renegades that included his mother and the man who would be known to history as Omega. Despite his strong prejudice against humans, Omega had immediately fallen for Naomi Ikemura, and she for him. The relationship hadn't lasted, due to Omega's prejudice, but it did long enough that Naomi conceived Yuki. Omega tried to pressure her into aborting , but Naomi had appealed to Jonothon's mother for sanctuary.

River took Naomi to the renegade Karn sisterhood. They viewed River as their founder, as she had inspired the formation of the renegade group. They took Naomi in where she was safe from any further harassment from Omega. That earned River the eternal enmity of Omega. River realized something then, what had happened to her as an infant hadn't just been triggered by fear of the Doctor. The Clerics had ties to Omega, as did Kovarian, and both used the Omega emblem. River realized that, in part, their actions were also Omega's vengeance on the woman who helped his human lover defy and escape him.

Naomi stayed with the Karn sisterhood the rest of her life, but she asked River to sponsor Yuki for admission into the time lord academy, once her child was old enough. When Yuki grew into a young woman, and began to often visit the Song household, Jonothon couldn't help but become attracted to her- eventually Yuki reciprocated those feelings. They married and had three children.

Father had often joked about having to calculate the percentages human and time lord in his descendants… Within the family that was merely an amusing comment, but to the time lord society it was deadly serious. The time lords knew that one day humans would become the dominant sentient beings across the universe. Out of a sense of jealousy, most time lords viewed the humans as uncivilized pests that would encroach on their territory. Rassilon eventually banned full humans from Gallifrey, and children who were more than one quarter human were barred from the Academy. Jonothon knew from his father, that Romana would repeal both laws during her presidency, and when Rassilon took power again he wouldn't bother harassing the part human population directly again. But he would personally target the extended family of the Doctor, especially near the end of the Time War.

Jonothon had never directly brought the Time War up to his father, not until the last time they had a "father and son bonding time". Shortly before he ended his 13th, they slipped off world for a last adventure together. Free of the role of the Other he played on Gallifrey, his father let echoes of the earlier selves out to play, especially the 11th, the first regeneration Jonothon knew. They did something stupid, accidentally on purpose violating a silly law on a planet, then ran for their lives back to the Tardis. They were both still laughing breathlessly when they took the Tardis into the vortex.

"Haven't had that much fun since the last time your mother and I took a break from all that we have to do on Gallifrey."

"How long ago was that?"

"Last year, I think, no maybe it was almost two years ago, or has it been longer?" He sighed, the weight of all he must do dropping back over him. "She needs one last one of these too, I think, before…"

"Before you sacrifice yourself to save the family from Rassilon? Before you become the boy who will become the Doctor again? Before you no longer are her husband but her surrogate grandchild?"

"Yes." He sighed deeply. "So much I leave to your mother, always have. Never feel like I've even come close to properly thanking her. And now it's going to be your burden too, and I won't be able to save any of you on Gallifrey when I have to brutally end the Time War. Won't even properly remember you are my son, just fuzzy memories of having a wife and a family, while your mother, my dearest wife, I'll hardly see her, and when I do, it will be as the mysterious half human woman who will be my surrogate grandmother…. "

"Dad, I've known I'll die in the Time War for a long time. I'll try to convince as many of the family to go as can- those that aren't locked into dying in the war."

"So it's not just Susan and our Rory? Your mother said something about that once, said she'd get as many to leave as she could."

"Yuki and I can't and our youngest and her husband won't, maybe can't. It's kind of in flux to me, but she swears it's fixed to her. But the older two and all my grandchildren, they'll be safe. They'll leave long before the Time War. Amelia has something planned to make sure she's long gone from Gallifrey too. And Pond, well, she's hardly on Gallifrey as it is. She knows, like we all do, about the War, and swears she'll make sure she's on the other side of the universe when it happens. She promises never to come near the Kasterborous system after your Fourth regeneration."

"Good. And the others?"

"Trying to convince William, and his kids, but he won't leave Sophia, and the kids say they won't abandon their parents. She's locked as being here, and you know the family motto about marriage…"

"That was from your grandmother, Amy Pond. 'Together or not at all'."

"But William's working on getting his kids to slip away before the war."

"Think he'll succeed?"

"Hope so."

"Does Sophia know why her being on Gallifrey is a fixed point?"

"Yes. We're already prepared, Mum and Sophia."

"Your mother, she'll disappear long before the Time War, you know that, right?"

"I sensed it, but no I didn't know, and mum won't tell me anything."

"Spoilers." He laughed.

"Yeah. Mum's favorite word."

"Oh she hated it for a long while, after the Library and for long time after Manhattan 2012.…"

"The bad time."

"One of them. Thanks to me, your mum's had a lot of bad times, and I'm about to deliver her another one." He sighed. "But at least she's prepared for this one. No spoilers. We talked about it a lot, just before Trenzalore. Neither of us could stand to speak of Trenzalore. But this, back then, it didn't seem as bad, so far off too. Now, it's almost upon me, and all I can think of is that I will hurt her again, and this time I won't be able to fix it at all afterward. This is our end as husband and wife. She'll be my widow and I'll be her surrogate grandchild…"

"Mum's already talked to me about it, she's accepted it. Says it's better than what most people get, because you'll still be in her life, just in a different way."

"She's hiding the damage again. Don't let her do that, and don't you do that either, none of you. Mourn normally, don't suppress it until it overwhelms you. I won't know any different, I'll be a baby. Even when I'm a toddler these memories will be muzzy and confuse me."

"Then you'll see the worst of it in the untempered schism."

"I'm glad none of you went through that."

"All our kids did though, and made it through without going mad."

"Thank your mother for that, the young human brain has defense mechanisms a fully time lord child's does not, even Neheh's kids have some sliver of humanness."

Neheh was the baby, only an infant when they arrived on ancient Gallifrey. Her husband was fully Gallifreyan, and part of the renegade time lord alliance loyal to the Other . Susan was their youngest child, and her escape from Gallifrey was a fixed point.

"You remember Zephyr's descendants coming to mum's house, dad?"

"Yes, had to hide out so my 7th self wouldn't get a glimpse of me, none of my earlier selves know what this me looks like. Your mum was so happy to see those 10 many greats grandchildren- nine little ones, one grown up, mother of the baby."

"I guess either I or one of the others convinced your seventh self to bring them there."

"But made sure there was an adult with the children. That self wasn't very trustworthy. Your mother found that me disturbing."

"Yeah I think we all did."

The Doctor understood now why the family had been so distant toward him as his seventh self. His 7th self didn't exactly inspire assurance he would follow through on anything that he was asked. But Zephyr convinced her descendants to send her 9 youngest, and the mother of the smallest child, off Gallifrey to a human space colony in the 52nd century with the 7th Doctor.

The 7th Doctor did faithfully deliver them there. But he had paid very close attention to the people at the destination, especially the woman his cousin called Professor River Song. That's when he discovered who she was. He would later forget her, along with a sizeable percentage of his memories, because of the problems with the regeneration into the 8th. But this encounter with the 7th Doctor happened in his personal timeline before the encounter much earlier in River's timeline. He hadn't let River know this was his first encounter with her as his 7th self. He had carefully stored away the knowledge, only to frighten her much younger self with how much he knew about her.

On that day in the 52nd century, his 13th self had to hide from his 7th self. The 13th Doctor hid inside his cloaked Tardis. He had just arrived from a successful search for an elusive part. The part would allow the override on the Tardis for the trip back to ancient Gallifrey. He and River had been working on installing it when they heard the noise. They knew it could only be an earlier Doctor and threw the cloak switch.

River had thought it might be a misdirected 11th,and after a quick kiss to her husband, early in his 13th, self, she grinned and headed toward the door.

"That look on your face, wife. I'm jealous."

"Of yourself?" She smirked

"Weren't you those times?" He teased back.

"Touché. But I didn't know it was myself I was feeling jealous about, remember?" She winked.

"Don't let that younger me turn your head too much. You know he's a bad boy. " He smirked back.

River wondered when in his timeline this younger Doctor would be. Should she go to greet him alone, well, sort of alone… Neheh was due in two weeks, or let him see the others as well. She laughed when she saw the decision was taken out of her hands, all 6 of the children were waiting for the doors to open. She should have known, considering who they were. For the same reason, She knew her husband's current regeneration was watching on his Tardis's monitor.

When the door opened though, it wasn't 11, but 7. River felt her hearts clench in anxiety, she quickly strode in front of her children with a protective hand over her belly, but schooled her features into a neutral expression. She reminded herself that not even his dark half regeneration would harm their children, nor her , physically. This one wasn't quite as bad as that one. They must be wary though. Other than Zephyr, the youngest already born, they all sensed their mother's mood and let her stand in front. Zephyr ran forward and clung to her leg, wide eyed.

"Hello Doctor." River said neutrally.

"Professor River Song." He nodded with watchful eyes, but otherwise, an unreadable expression. "I assume these are your children?"

"Yes."

"Ah, I begin to see why I was charged to bring these cousins of mine to stay here. My Aunt Zephyr claims you are a person very dear to her."

"That's my name!" Zephyr cried out with surprise.

"So it is." River smiled at her daughter. "My second youngest, Zephyr, she's two and a half."

Jonothon observed his reaction. The Seventh Doctor's eyes made it clear he'd probably figured out the two Zephyrs were the same person, just at different points in time. This meant he had probably put it together, part of who Professor River Song was to him- she was his mysterious surrogate grandmother. Jonothon was certain of this when the man relaxed and gave a genuine smile.

"I regret, madam, that my Aunt Zephyr could not make the trip herself, but these are the youngest ten of her descendants, they wish to visit." The Seventh Doctor's expression communicated that he knew the visit would be permanent, as he watched his distant surrogate cousins walk out of his Tardis.

"Of course they can!" River delightedly greeted her distant descendants "Stay as long as you want!" She nodded to the Seventh Doctor, acknowledging the guess she suspected he'd made about the length of their stay.

Jonothon doubted that Zephyr understood that these people walking their direction were her many times great grandchildren, but she was old enough to remember this moment and know to send them here many years later in her personal timeline.

It was Zephyr ultimately, but in the way only an innocent child could, that gave away the secret that Seven shouldn't have learned.

"Mum?" Zephyr pulled on her mother's skirt, more relaxed now that the strange man, who had a box just like her daddy's, was smiling at her.

"What is it, baby?" River smiled and awkwardly squatted down so that their faces were near eye level.

"Why does the funny looking man travel in a box that looks just like daddy's?"

Jonothon saw what his mother missed, the briefest look of shock in the Seventh Doctor's eyes. By the time his mother looked up from her daughter's face to the Seventh Doctor's, his expression was calculating with a hint of predatory. Jonothon realized then this was an earlier Seventh Doctor than the one his mother had told him of when he was a boy. This one hadn't known that Professor River Song was the wife of his later regenerations, and his surrogate relatives were actually his future/past children and their descendants.

River couldn't suppress a slight shudder at 7's expression. She took a calming breath and looked back down at Zephyr with an ironic smile , and collected her thoughts.

"Spoilers." Amelia abruptly said with a laugh, but one that still conveyed a protective concern for her mother.

River looked over to her oldest daughter with a lopsided smile. "Yes, I do believe it's time to teach Zephyr that concept."

"What's spoilers?" Zephyr innocently asked.

River hugged Zephyr and laughed.

Thankfully that diverted Zephyr from getting the answer to her question, and the Seventh Doctor then departed with a tip of his hat to them.

As soon as the Seventh Doctor's Tardis was gone, their father raced out of his still cloaked Tardis and took their mother in his arms.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, my love."

"You don't look it, come on, let's have you looked over in the medical bay."

"I'm fine, just nerves, let's get some tea. I'll be fine."

"Sorry."

River kissed him softly on the lips. "See, I'm better already."

"So you are." He whispered tenderly.

They settled their distant relatives in and stayed until a month after Neheh was born. River reworking the legal documents, and arranging for child care help for the young woman descendant. This many times great granddaughter took the human name Lucinda Song. River set up a new bank account and arranged for most of her pension money to go to Lucinda and the children. Then she helped Lucinda get enrolled at the university and the 6 school aged children in primary and junior school.

"Get a legitimate degree from a human colony university, it helps. It did for me."

"Should I go into archeology like you, then?"

"No!" the Doctor mock disapproved.

River rolled her eyes at her husband, then said "Choose wherever your light leads you."

Lucinda smiled. "Thank you grandmother, grandfather."

"We'll stop by from time to time for a while. Make sure things are okay."

"I will too, when I get older." Jonothon added, walking into the room.

Even then, he knew his father's fate and that one day his mother would disappear, he assumed to her death. Then he would take on his mother role as head of the family. His reborn father would only know of Susan as a family member who possibly avoided the time war, and by then he would have long sense lost track of her.

Jonothon would make one last visit to all the descendants, before the Time War closed off free traveling. He would also destroy most the records of the time lords offworld- excepting a few vague passages that would be left for his mother learn of when she was young. He would make sure there were plenty of references to the lady of the waters who married the Doctor, and was the mother of their children. He knew from his mother's tales of her childhood the Silence and their allies would ferret out the others, the ones they used in their brainwashing, the Doctor as a monster and his mother as the one who killed him.

The distinctive crackle of a vortex manipulator in the next room ended his waiting reverie. He smiled. In this time period the only person with one was his mother, she'd returned.


End file.
